Just alone, again

it's not fair.
i befriended a guy. who is not "a christian."
being "a christian," i wanted to reach out to him. i saw so much potential in him to love god.
he loves information, thirsts for answers. so bright and intelligent. he is hungry for information on anything. the way he talks about music, life, nature.
we started hanging out and talking a bit. just a bit.
we would engage in deep conversations all the time. he is deep. i am deep.

then few nights ago he told me he liked me by accident. (i'm not sure if he was high.. or intoxicated..). honestly it caught me by surprise. i think he just started to.
he asked about my feelings. and i was honest with my answer, "you never crossed my mind, nor do i think i will ever in the future." i was nice about it.

and it's not fair.
i cherish him as a friend a lot.
but he's been avoiding my calls and texts.
but it's nothing serious, he said it's just a crush.
why is he avoiding me then?
it hurts.
it's not fair.
i'm not sure how "rejected" he feels.
he's a real nice fella, so him avoiding me makes me feel more like crap.
it's not fair.
is he ever gonna come around again?
i miss his friendship.

i feel so alone.
good friends betrayed me.
and i have no one.
he was at least something. just a little something to look forward to.

shoot, this sucks.